Conflict Resolution 101
By: admin
My business partner and I recently had a conflict. His position was that we are in the business of helping leaders and their teams resolve conflict, and I was arguing that we are helping people to manage conflict.
At one point our argument turned into a lively collaborative conversation. How was it that we were able to seamlessly move from conflict to conversation?
To manage conflict is to somehow find a way to tolerate or deal with it. To resolve conflict is to actually shift the state of being. It has been said that it takes two to tango, yet we believe it takes just one to resolve a conflict. Read More…
Managing Conflict in Marriage, Part 3 of 3
By: admin
Managing conflict in marriage is primarily an outgrowth of each partner demonstrating the ability to manage his or her own mental and emotional state. We have discussed in earlier articles the value of one’s sense of internal well-being in growing a healthy intimate relationship with your spouse.
Let’s discuss a specific application to something married couples face on a regular basis: conflicting agendas. I am hungry and want to leave the house to get some dinner while my wife’s agenda is to tidy up the house before we go so that when we have the open house tomorrow everything will look just right. I want to leave the house right now and she wants to spend an extra 20 minutes before we go. Does this dynamic sound familiar? Read More…
Resolving Conflict in Marriage, Part 2 of 3
By: admin
In Part One, we learned that conflict in marriage often occurs when both partners are in a triggered state, each of us reminded of some pain from our past that has never been resolved and each of us secretly wishing that the other would have the capacity to witness our pain without judgment. All we want is to be understood. Read More…
Resolving Conflict in Marriage, Part 1 of 3
By: admin
Resolving conflict in marriage would have been a great class to take in college. In fact, based upon having over 30 years of practice being conflicted in my own marriage, I think I could have benefited from several semesters on the subject.
The divorce rate in this country is around 50%, which suggests that most of us have never learned how to effectively deal with marital conflict.
So where do people go to learn about how to resolve conflict? Read More…
How to have a Happy Employee
By: admin
Let’s start our by being real; you are not going to be able to have a happy employee unless they were already happy before they met you. Nothing personal, it’s just that people have practiced cultivating their happiness mindsets long before they have crossed your path.
So the best way to insure that you are employing happy employees is to hire someone who was happy long before they met you. You are more likely going to be able to hire a happy employee if you, yourself are a happy person. It takes happy people to be able to recognize others who are also happy. Read More…
Reducing Stress
By: admin
Since stress is a function of two forces in opposition, we can reduce stress by changing the oppositional forces, or by changing our perspective on them. If I am in rush hour traffic and traveling less than one mile per hour and worried about being home on time for dinner, I am likely to be stressed out. If my younger son is habitually late to family functions and I expect him to be on time, this will likely cause a stressful reaction.
Unpredictable weather conditions such as those that occurred over the holidays in Europe, causing airports to shut down and strand travelers at airports cause stress for thousands of people. Does this sound stressful? You bet it does. How is it possible to reduce our stress under such dreadful circumstances? Read More…
Motivating Employees
By: admin
How do you motivate employees? The traditional answer to this question has generally revolved around two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. The employee who is intrinsically motivated is someone who experiences the joy of working as its own reward. These employees are consistently on time, meet and usually exceed expectations, and contribute to a high company morale.
The employee who is extrinsically motivated is someone who would be attracted to working at a particular business because of factors outside themselves, such as money, time off, promotions, or recognition. These employees are less likely to make a substantial contribution to the organization because their first interest is themselves. Read More…
Disciplined Focus
By: admin
At Work:
According to the Starquest Leadership Model, we define focus as the direction of our attention combined with our interpretation of what we have observed. High performing individuals and teams recognize the impact that their interpretation of events has on performance and outcomes.
A study of attitudes toward hurricanes conducted in two different states in the Midwest found that the way hurricanes were perceived by people in one state affected how well they fared, as opposed to the way hurricanes were perceived in another state.
In the state where hurricanes were viewed as opportunities for people to pitch in and help one another, the survival rate was much higher than in the state where people viewed hurricanes as an “act of God,” which rendered them helpless. Read More…
Dealing With Difficult People
By: admin
People are not difficult; they are simply triggered. When triggered, we, as human beings, engage in a wide array of irritating behaviors such as being angry, argumentative, self righteous, arrogant, sarcastic, withdrawn, sullen, abrupt — all of which are very difficult to deal with.
As long as you have a mindset that someone is difficult they will be more difficult to deal with. (cite confirmation bias literature and self fulfilling prophecy stuff).
We have a company we have been working with for the past couple of years. The mid-management team was highly dysfunctional before we started our monthly sessions together. Conflicts were the order of the day, and resolutions were few and far between. There were personality issues, territorial issues, and competition for resources. This team was a mess. Read More…
Conflict Management
By: admin
One of the most difficult, and unfortunately prominent, problems in today’s workforce is Conflict Management. Conflict in marriage leads to divorce, conflict among countries usually leads to war. Unmanaged conflict at work leads to a decline in morale, productivity, and bottom line profits. Our reaction to, and method of dealing with conflict rather than the conflict itself is what causes painful, frightening or even damaging experiences.
Conflict occurs when there are two points of view in opposition to one another. It is not the thoughts we have alone that trigger our conflict it is when we attach strong emotion to our thoughts that the conflict with others intensifies. Read More…
